She looked at herself in the mirror and said, “Walk away, girl. And even if you had to run, just run. Guard your heart and don’t say a word of love. Run as far as you can, and never look back.”
“I miss you.”
Not in the way that I want you and I need you. But I miss you. As a person. In general. I hated the fact that the universe didn’t conspire to allow me to speak to the one that I miss. I hated the fact that I am unable to express what I had in my head – not to you and not to anyone else – so this is my only avenue.
Sometimes, I wonder why I’d still have memories of someone – I barely knew – lingering in my head. It’s almost like an addiction. I can’t get it out of my system however hard I try. One year on, two years on, a century later.. I know that it’s still going to linger for a while.
It’s almost unreal. We weren’t even anything to begin with but the thought of how I’ve enjoyed every single minute of that nothingness is beyond me. I cannot imagine appreciating someone for real and forever; if forever even exists. It’s also a little scary for me; to fall in love and only to know you’re never going to be good enough.
I miss you. And I would do anything just to hear your gentle voice again. For a minute, 30 minutes, however long it may be, I just want to hear your voice again. Even though we’re miles apart in real or in the virtual world, I still miss you nonetheless. And I know that no matter what life has planned for me, our paths will never cross again. Not today, not tomorrow, probably not ever. But that’s okay. That’s okay because this is the price I pay for wanting someone who’s far beyond my reach.